


The Cop And The Lawyer

by talonyth



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Police, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-30
Updated: 2015-05-30
Packaged: 2018-04-02 01:41:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4040833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talonyth/pseuds/talonyth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How could an already shitty day become even worse? By getting a speeding ticket. ...Is what Futakuchi thinks before he sees Ushijima.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Cop And The Lawyer

**Author's Note:**

  * For [boxofwonder](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boxofwonder/gifts).



> nico, i fucking hate you, i hope you know this, did i need another rarepair? NO. did i get another rarepair? YES. here bff, with love to you

“Your licence, please.”

Futakuchi is _very_ aware he drove a little too fast for his own well-being but the day has been shitty enough for him to just want to be at home already. He would have warped if that were a possibility, no question about it. After a lost case and the humiliation of having to face prosecutor _Oikawa_ afterwards - that name alone makes Futakuchi shudder and his nose wrinkle - he simply wanted to go home and grill himself a bloody steak, maybe drink some wine and get drunk, who knows. Anything, really, to forget the pile of shit this day has been. 

What he definitely doesn’t need now is a speeding ticket. He did consider not rolling down his window after he stopped on the hard shoulder when he heard the siren behind him. _That’s illegal, Kenji, and you’re a lawyer._ Then again, being an lawyer, he reminded himself, also brings along incredible skills in convincing and manipulating. _It’s still illegal, Kenji._

Yup, but it’s not going to keep him from trying to slip his way out of a damn speeding ticket on this forsaken day. What could possibly go wrong? It’s not like he could end up in jail unless he accidentally kills the officer and Futakuchi doesn’t think he has anything on him he could use as weapon. Except for his sharp tongue. If that were indeed a legitimate weapon that could off people, he wouldn’t just be in jail, he’d be dead long ago by death penalty.

He lets out a deep sigh, grabbing his wallet from the seat next to him and flapping it open. A simple no could have done the trick but it’s too late now. _Illegal._ He decides to ignore his brain for the time being. “Officer, do we have to do this?” he says, handing the policeman his licence - with the absolutely most horrid photo of himself he ever had taken. In his defence, it was a day into summer break and he had gotten completely wasted before he remembered he actually had a driving licence to get the next day. He miraculously passed anyway but _that photo_. Damn.

The officer - Ushijima, Futakuchi reads off his nameplate and almost snorts - takes his licence and regards it for a second (long enough for Futakuchi to think he is going to comment on that photo) before he lifts his gaze back to Futakuchi. What a stern face. Not a single muscle moves as he says, “I don’t see a reason why we shouldn’t. Please hand me your car documents.”

Oh, great. One of the over-eager type of cops who are diligent and reliable, the finicky sort. Superb. _It’s your own fault, Kenji, you knew how fast you were allowed to drive._ Never once has his brain betrayed him as much. It might be the exhaustion of today. Whatever it is, it needs to shut up.

“Look, Officer Ushijima--- actually, are you a country bumpkin? That name is honestly distracting me.”

Smooth. This is definitely going to make him more amiable in his decision whether he should or should not give him a speeding ticket. There are days in his life where Futakuchi honestly asks himself how he passed his examination and became a counsel. Not very often, he does consider himself to be persuasive when he needs to be, sly enough to intimidate--- wait, not the right moment to think about his qualities.

“I don’t see how this matters right now. Your car documents, please.”

Ushijima’s uniform is just as distracting as his name. It’s… as if it were a size too small, it’s oddly tight-fitting… or perhaps it is very much just the exhaustion. Hah, his brain seems to try and make up to him now. _Too late, my friend._

“I was just trying to make some small talk while I am trying to remember where those are. Jeez, Officer, loosen up a bit, will you?” Futakuchi says, leaning over the other seat to reach the glovebox. That hasn’t been true in the slightest, Futakuchi knows very well his documents are there but he does have to try and pour oil on troubled waters.

He doesn’t expect a reply while he fiddles inside of the glovebox for the documents he’s looking for but Ushijima’s deep voice does sound as he replies, “I didn’t think my name would give away I come from the countryside.”

“Ah, it’s not really your name per se,” Futakuchi says, picking out the papers out of the pile assorted on his lap. “Though it does sound pretty country-ish, you know? Cow island? An island full of cows? Don’t tell me that’s where you come from.”

“I’m from Miyagi,” he responds and Futakuchi looks into his face to see whether he is kidding or not. Nobody would so calmly tell someone who called them country bumpkin seconds ago and made fun of their last name.

Years in his profession and his experience tell Futakuchi that Ushijima has been genuine a second ago, as bold as it seems, saying it as naturally as ever when he could have simply shut him up, being a cop and all. He is so… frank, it’s painful.

“Aha,” is the only thing Futakuchi is able to say as he hands Ushijima the car documents, still in awe that Ushijima didn’t even react to the subtle teasing. Either he is very professional, keeping a cool head, or he simply didn’t catch the drift. It’s very likely option number 1.

As Ushijima jots down something, Futakuchi has the time to check out the person leaning against his car a little better. Nice broad shoulders, looking pretty muscular, the _damn one-size-too-small uniform_. Okay, maybe his hair is a bit too correct for Futakuchi’s liking, middle parting, sort of too proper for that sort of body--- Alright, his brain needs to _chill_ , before it kept bugging him to be legal and appropriate and now _it checks out a cop while getting a speeding ticket_. Is this one of those fucked up inner angel versus inner demon situations like in movies because this is the least thing Futakuchi could use now. His life turning into a Z-class movie of the worst kind. The kind you watch with your roommates in college when you had a drink too much and still find it to be shitty.

“Here are your documents,” Ushijima suddenly says, ripping Futakuchi out of his inner turmoil. He quickly grabs the papers and throws them next to him, expecting Ushijima to keep on talking. He should, his voice is--- no. No. _Kenji, you’ve been alone for quite a while now, I get that, but that is no legitimate reason for you to find a cop hot._ Less a cop with a name like that, ignoring the fact that he, also, comes from Miyagi just as Ushijima does. That is entirely beside the point. _Okay, but look at those arms,_ and that’s where Futakuchi trails off and stops listening to whatever his brain still wants to make up because honestly, _damn._

Ushijima rolls up his sleeves before leaning in again and whew, it’s the truth, Futakuchi hasn’t scored a date with anyone in a while. As much as he curses about it, his job does have the priority in his life and he loves doing it even if it goes along with stress and exhaustion and, well, months of abstinence. It’s sad, really, that he only realizes this after breaking the law. Gladly, if he thinks about it while staring at Ushijima’s toned lower arms. He’d break all sorts of laws for that.

 _Listen, you are a fucking lawyer, you embody law and justice, you can’t just break them._ If even if his inner angel has started cussing him, Futakuchi is sure he’s done something awfully right just now. He never liked being good anyway.

“So, Mr. I come from Cow City, are you going to fine me?”

That hit the spot. Cow city. Completed with a completely unnecessary smug grin. _First of all, it’s cow island and second of all, did you ask to be fined?_ He completely forgot he meant to convince Ushijima not to do so. Who could blame him? Except for his inner angel, that is.

“I was not going to, your records have shown that you have been behaving just fine until now so I was going to let you off with a warning, considering you hadn’t passed the limit critically,” Ushijima says and Futakuchi’s eyes widen. ...Of course he never misbehaved. Obviously. He’s a lawyer, he would never even consider going against law itself. “Unless you specifically wish to pay. I wouldn’t be able to stop you from doing that.”

“...I think I might pass on that.”

Ushijima nods and takes a step away from the car, bowing and taking his leave. He even wished Futakuchi a nice evening before he turned around. There is a limit to how well-behaved you can be. He’s probably a beast in other regards. _Kenji, you did not just think that._

Yes, he did, and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t try getting to see Mr. Perfect Behaviour again. Legally, of course, by stalking police files and trying to find out where he’s working so that his inner proper side will just leave him drive home in peace.

**Author's Note:**

> i can't write futakuchi to save my life and this didn't even make sense but okay lbr who wouldn't want a piece of ushi. this wasn't exactly the pinnacle of my writing but it was written just for fun anyway and that it was, oh my god, stressed lawyer futakuchi is one of my absolute favourite things among with assassin hinata. recurring themes and all


End file.
